


yours truly

by fiddle_stix



Series: nct bits and bobs [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Epistolary, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Letters, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, No Angst, Romance, Swearing, an infinitesimal amount, and very very cute, lots and lots of it, non-au, they nct, they're just dorks who love each other a lot okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-19 14:56:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22812865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiddle_stix/pseuds/fiddle_stix
Summary: But I mean it, about missing you, Mark. Especially tonight. I miss you even more.(Or: a collection of indulgent and sappy totally-not-love letters between Mark and Donghyuck.)
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: nct bits and bobs [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607350
Comments: 17
Kudos: 175





	yours truly

**Author's Note:**

> This is so much fluff. A disgustingly excessive amount. Take it or leave it.

_"These words, my words to you, please keep them safe."_

—

_17.11.2019_

Mark-hyung,

It’s so strange. Standing in the middle of a stage, all the stands empty around me, lights all flicked off. Suddenly you can see everything. As if you’d switched the lense of the camera so everything comes into focus at once. Or when you move out of your house and have to take all of your furniture out so all that you’re left with is painted walls; floor to ceiling.

Tonight, I snuck back on stage while everyone else was still packing up backstage. The audience's screams were still echoing in my ears, all the shouts, people chanting our songs—chanting just for _us_. I don’t know if that should scare me or not. How did you feel on your last show with us? Performing for the last time as a Dreamie; with the last people around to call you ‘hyung’? I'm still not quite sure what I'm supposed to do with all this love they give us.

I miss you, Mark. I know that much.

I wasn’t lying about what I said tonight. You probably have already seen the video by the time that I give you this. _If_ I ever end up giving it to you, that is. Last week Jeno told me that I need to be more open with my emotions so I guess I have no choice. I promised after all.

I don’t forgive you for not being able to come tonight. The other’s might have been all nice and understanding in the group chat but I don't forget that easily. (Okay, I’m not supposed to lie. I blame SM then for bad scheduling. Don’t tell them that I said that.)

But I mean it, about missing you. Especially tonight. I miss you even more. 

It's so weird not having you around. I know that you’re still in NCT 127 and I should be grateful that I get that with you and that I still get to perform on stage with you. But when I’m standing up there, singing ‘My First and My Last’ or ‘We Go Up’ or teasing Jeno about ripping his shirt, I try to look for you. To roll my eyes at Renjun’s joke or to poke you in the ribs or pinch your cheek. 

Never tell anyone else this, but the stage feels empty without you to share it with me.

(I mean it, if you show this letter to anyone I will not hesitate to strangle you. They will _never_ find the body, mark my words.)

Ah, the others are calling for me. This is long enough for now. I can only imagine your face when you read this. Come home soon so I can see your ears go all red. And for the others too: Chenle says he wants help with his rapping and Renjun was complaining about having no one around to keep us in order. Although you’re just as dumb as us, so I have no idea what he was talking about.

Just kidding, just kidding. 

Miss your face,  
Donghyuckie

PS. I love you. (Said no one ever.) (So maybe I might love you, but only a little.) (The teeniest, tiniest amount.) (If you tell anyone my threat of a long and painful death still stands.) (Okay, now I really have to go.)

—

_27th Nov, 2019_

Donghyuck-ah,

I haven’t told you this yet, but I found your letter last week. I don’t know if you were expecting a response, since you slipped this under my pillow and didn’t talk to me about it once. You were right though. About the red ears. Maybe it was a good idea that you didn’t give this to me in person?

God, it feels good to be back. I actually had to be careful today, you know, so that you wouldn’t catch me writing this? Which, now I think about it, is a little silly because you’re going to read this in the end anyway. But that’s not the point. The point is that it’s hard to avoid you now. Wow that sounds bad, I don't mean it like I want to avoid you or anything. I mean like avoid running into you. It's hard not to and I love it.

If we’re being honest, which you were with me, so I have to honour it. (Also Jeno is probably right, you keep too much bottled up). Back to being honest. When I met you for the first time, I never thought that I would be excited about being caught in your orbit. 

That came out more poetic than I meant it to, but I mean it all the same. It isn’t the same without you. _Full sun_ , right? Honestly, we’re all too moody and edgy sometimes (especially the hyungs but please don’t tell them that I said that). _"_ _Let there be light, let there be light,"_ He said. Real or not, God got something right.

Maybe someone got his words confused though. Because the light of the sun means warmth but the glare of the spotlight is bright it doesn't mean there's anything warmth in it. I missed you too, is what I’m trying to say. The Dreamies. The rest of the hyungs. Korea.

SuperM is so exciting and awesome and don’t get me wrong, I am honoured to be on it. But it gets a little tiring, you know? What am I saying, of course you know. With NCT U’s ‘Coming Home’ it will be your third official debut (don’t think I haven’t heard. Taeil-hyung showed me a little of the track but I expect a live performance. Cough up).

Ummm…. Anyway. (I don’t know whether it was possible to ‘um’ in a letter. I’m making it a thing anyway). We’re on dinner duty tonight. You can put me on rice and veggie prep duty, I won’t mind. As long as you don’t care if I eat some carrots.

It’s good to be back. I already said it but I can’t stop saying it because it’s true. It hasn’t been the same without you. Having no one around to try and kiss me on the cheek really gets boring, you know? Although, don’t take this as a sign to start trying to kiss me. I still hate it and _will_ fight you. Be warned. I will come for you.

Now I just have to figure out where to hide this somewhere fun. 

Yours,  
Mark

Wait, am I supposed to use ‘yours’? Meh.

—

I have officially decided that Jeno is wrong. I am a wonderfully open person, I tell you guys everything, and he has no idea what he’s talking about.

Okay, here’s my actual letter to you. I just had to get that out there. 

_30.11.2019_

Lee Mark,

I’m sitting at the dining table writing this. You’re over on the couch. You’re _finally_ here again. I thought about what you said in your last letter, about being in orbit. Personally, I think you’ve got it wrong. It’s me who has been in your orbit all along. But it’s not exactly relevant. (Yeah, on second thought completely ignore that line. I am the embodiment of perfection, you should be honoured to be within my orbit).

You are right, however. Wow, that was a lot to admit. Mark Lee being right, who’d have thought? (Plus, I can totally imagine your face reading that. All indignant, hahaha.)

But as I was saying about you being right. It’s the same for me, which you should know because I already told you. But holy damn, it’s nice having you close again. Even if I hop around dorms and you’ve still got a million things on your plate. It’s nice being in the same country again. For now. Ah, what lives we’ve got ourselves into...

Tomorrow we’ll go and start recording for our next album. The day after that we might be in an interview. When practice is over we’ll play a game of rock-paper-scissors to see who has to buy everyone drinks. The day after we might be on stage. 

_Living the dream_ , we are. Isn’t that what they say?

Oh that reminds me, come visit the dreamies during practice, okay? Yell a ‘ _Yo Dream’_ and jam out with us. Dancing formations with all seven of us work better anyway.

Gonna hide this somewhere fun!

From your fave rapper and visual extraordinaire,  
Donghyuck

(By the way, with your last letter, you mean I should try to kiss your cheek more? You got it!)

(And of course you can use ‘yours’, dummy. Although I would like to know when you became mine.)

—

_3rd Dec, 2019_

Donghyuck-ah,

You tell us most things. Everything about what’s going on in the here-and-now and you can make it feel like it means the world—as if it’s all there is to know about you. We all know that you’re great at aegyo and that you have a 37.5% viewer rating and that your favourite singer is Michael Jackson.

But Jeno _is_ right. You don’t tell us _everything_. The things that mean stuff. Heart stuff, you know? I don’t know why you don't. But I promise, Hyuck, you can talk to us. About all of it. Even when you’re sad. Especially then. And you’re not allowed to cringe when reading that, okay? This is me telling you that I care about you, okay? I’m not repeating it.

And of course I will come and jam out with the Dreamies. You’re legit asking me to come and do one of my favourite things. Give me a time and place and I’ll be there. Also, for your information, my face is perfectly neutral, thank you very much.

Yours,  
Mark

—

_4.11.2019_

Mr Mark Lee,

'Heart stuff'? You're lucky I like you.

Also, you’re not supposed to be able to read me so well. Nobody is supposed to know me this well. But I guess you have you smart moments. I still don’t agree with Jeno. If you know me this well that I mustn’t be hiding that much, right? Or maybe I’m just unusually honest in these letters. Which might be the case.

Sometimes I sit down and start writing my letter to you and kind of zone out halfway through. I’m still writing but I stop thinking about it. I should be scared about that, shouldn’t I? About how natural this all feels with you? Look, even now, my brain to mouth filter isn’t working. Or brain to hand. Whatever.

Thanks for coming to practice. I swear, nobody stopped smiling for the rest of the night, even when we had to head back to the dorms. Manager Min thought we were crazy. (So nothing new, really.)

Miss your face always, I guess. Even though I see it all the time.

Donghyuckie

PS. You still haven’t answered my question about this ‘yours’ business.

—

Hyuck-ah,

Is this your inverted way of asking me to be yours/you to be mine? Because I’m pretty sure this isn’t how flirting works.

Yours?  
Mark

(Also would not recommend being scared of your no-filter. Doesn’t seem like something you should be scared of. I remember your threat about my painful death if anyone was ever to read one of these. I'm not ready to be killed any time soon. Maybe you should ask Taeyong, he’s the adult).

—

Mark Lee,

As if you would know what flirting is.

 _Somebody’s_ ,  
Donghyuck

(You’re 20 years old, doesn’t that make you an adult?)

—

Donghyuck Lee,

You’re saying that you don’t want me to be yours? 

Maybe Yours?  
Mark

(You’re 19 but you don’t see me going around calling you an adult, do you?)

—

Markus,

Where did you get that impression from?

Up-in-the-air on who belongs to me and who I may belong to,  
Donghyuck

(You make a very valid—yet insulting point—although I have decided against consulting, Taeyong. Strangely enough the thought of no filter isn’t that scary with you). (Tell anyone and your life will be in grave danger).

—

Hyuck,

This is starting to be a waste of paper. Do you want me to be yours or not?

\- M

(Cross my heart, not a soul will be told).

—

Yes.

Please.

\- H.

—

_10.12.19_

Dear Mark of Mine,

I am officially done with us.

I can’t believe we spend letters upon letters talking about emotions and missing each other and all the other feelings and cutesy stuff. I cannot BELIEVE that we just let our stupid flirting result in that. Where is the ROMANCE? The PASSION? My beautiful love letters, huh?

No, instead you have to just barge into my room, stick a post-it note in my face and kiss me till I feel like my heart is going to try and do something funny and explode on itself. Which is not actually the part that I am trying to dispute here. You are a very nice kisser. With very nice lips. And the way you held me? Very very nice.

But no confession? No eloquent letter? You’re supposed to be a songwriter, Mr Lee. Where is my poetic literature? I swear, romance is lost on you.

I give up. End scene. Donghyuck out.

—

_13_ _th _ _of Dec, 2019_

Donghyuck-ah,

You want a confession? Okay then:

~~ _Lee Donghyuck. Haechan. Donghyuck-ah. I would apologise for the cheesiness that is about to come, but you asked for it._ ~~

~~ _Remember when I told you about light and the sun. We were talking about the stage lights and me being away with SuperM._ ~~

~~ _To be honest, I don’t know how long this thing is going to last. This fame, that is. I love writing music, I love performing, I love the thrill that rushes through me. I feel alive and on fire and I truly mean it when I say that at the end of the day, no matter how many times I debut, I’m so grateful for just being able to be up there. To share music. To share love and happiness and everything that goes along with it._ ~~

~~ _But I don’t know how long any of it is going to last. Because they say the higher you climb, the further you’ve got to fall. "Watch out," they tell you. Be careful. Because you never know when the rug will be pulled from under you feet._ ~~

~~ _Sometimes it scares me. When I’m getting ready for a show, or when I’m walking through the city no longer anonymous, or when I’m sitting with a cup of tea staring out at the city at three in the morning. It scares me how far there is to fall._ ~~

~~ _But then I’m next to you, jumping around to the beat of a song in our pyjamas, or cutting vegetables while you fling pasta at the cabinet to see if it’s cooked. And the others are there_ _to_ _o, running around and making noise around us. Our family._~~

~~_I’m next to you and the fear goes away. It finds a way to lessen and die out until I can pretend I’m just a normal kid, being loud and silly and having fun with his friends just because he can. With his boyfriend too, if I’m allowed to call you that. It doesn’t quite seem so scary with you by my side. It doesn’t matter if I fall because somethings_ , the best things, _stay with you no matter how far down the fall is for you._~~

I’ve loved you since you tripped on the hover board when we were practicing Chewing Gum for the first time and made me carry you around for the rest of the day. 

I’ve been _in_ love with you since we got our first win with NCT Dream and you almost squeezed my lungs out with the hug you gave me when we got off stage after. I’ve wanted to tell you how much I love you since you clambered off the train after your leg was finally healed and asked _‘what’s been popping, Markus?_ ’ in a perfect American accent.

I love you. So much. It's as simple as that.

Yours (properly now),  
Mark

— 

_14.12.2020_

Mark-hyung,

I can’t top that.

I love you, I love you, I love you. _God_ , I love you.

None of this feels real. You’ll have to forgive me for being at a loss for words. Please know that I will treasure your letter forever. Also I can still read everything, you dumbass, even with all the crossing out you did. (Although maybe that was your plan all along. You sneaky boy. _My_ sneaky boy.)

On the topic of who is mine, yes I may agree to be your boyfriend. But you’ll have to ask me in person (no more notes). I want to see your face when I say yes. I want to be able to kiss you when I hear you call me your boyfriend for the first time. I love you, Mark. How could you even question if I want to be your boyfriend?

If we’re talking about love though, and your confession which is going to be the death of me, I have to apologise. I don’t have it all calculated; a timeline of when I started loving you, when I feel in love with you.

All I know is that I love you. Probably a little too much for. I love you even when you’re dumb and when you're on stage and especially when you're cuddly and a little drunk and you want to hold my hand. Even when you’re so tired that you can’t talk anymore and I have to help you take off your shoes, I still love you. It's like my brain can’t remember a time where I didn’t love you.

That’s why I still feel like I can’t really believe any of this; that any of this is real. You’re mine. I’m yours. I love it.

From your amazing and totally not lovesick boyfriend,  
Donghyuckie

— 

_14th of Dec, 2019_

Donghyuck-ah,

 _My_ boyfriend. _Mine_.

I’ve become so cheesy, oh my god. You’re asleep next to me right now. And your mouth is hanging a little open. You should look stupid. But ughhh. You just look cute. If the hyungs were here they would pinch your cheeks or something. Maybe poke your nose. If you were being filmed, the editing crew would add in little emojis all over you face. 

All I’m doing is writing this silly letter for you to read when you wake up. You know I store a pencil and paper in my bedside draw just in case I think of something that I need to tell you? If I get an idea that I need to get down on paper for you? God that’s even cheesier. I’m going to stop before anything else dumb slips out onto paper.

See you when you wake up. (When you wake up next to me and I get to lean over and kiss you all over your silly face).

Yours,  
Mark

(I guess you’re kind of cute when you’re sleeping. I think that’s what I was trying to say.)

—

You realise we could literally just text each other all of these things?

Love from your _cutest_ boy,  
Hyuck

—

To my _only_ boy,

Texting is so 2010s, didn’t you hear?

(Hopefully only) yours,  
Mark

—

To the _only_ boy in the world,

(Is that enough for you?)

Wow, Mark Lee actually making a funny joke? I never thought I would live to see the day.

Your only boy (but still the cutest),  
Donghyuck

(Wait so letters and scribbled post-it notes are the new trend now?)

—

Hyuckie,

I am wildly funny. How dare you.

\- M

(And duh.)

—

_20.12.2019_

Heyo Markle,

I don’t know if have that much to say this time. Leaving these around for you—and thinking about your stupid face reading them—is like a little stress relief for me.

Wait, do you remember the first time we met?

It was back in 2013, the day before one of the company’s evaluations and I had only been accepted into the company the day before. I was really nervous but trying not to show it at the same time. You know how silly I acted back then? You must remember. I was so worried about being enough. (I guess I still am, even if it’s not as much anymore.)

But that’s not the point I'm trying to make here.

The thing is, the first time that we met you were wearing one of your snapbacks and your fringe was swept over your forehead all funny. I didn’t know what to think of you, what with all your accented Korean and your _oh my god’s_ and your flailing hands. I was so nervous about the evaluation that was going to happen that day that I was barely thinking.

Then, after we had gone through the running sheet and everyone had sat down, you got up to perform. _God,_ Mark, _holy hell_. Even little thirteen year old me knew that you were going to be great some day. I was in awe. 

And then you come to me afterwards, when I’m still feeling shaky from getting up and being judged (and barely believing that I passed). I couldn’t even feel the relief over all the anxiety that was still rushing through me. But then you came up and said hi. With your awkward smile and jittery hands.

You asked me where I was from and then told me all about Canada when I asked you in return. I think you taught me some slang or I tried to talk to you in what was probably all over the place English. It doesn’t matter which. Because just as we were about to go back and join the group you put a hand on my arm and told me that I did really well today. You told me that you’d never heard someone sing like I did but that you liked it all the same. It meant the world.

Even when you push me away and got shy around me or joke around with play-fighting, I know to keep those words especially close to my heart. Alongside all the other little things you’ve whispered to me when it’s just the two of us, lying in the middle of our bedroom floor and wondering what the stars above it look like. I know to trust that Mark the most. 

And you always gave into me at the end: me forcing you to come watch a movie with you or making you come back to the dorm with me early when we were trainees. You made a handshake with me when we were bored. I guess I should say thanks (haha).

You realise 2020 will be our seventh year together? Seven years of us knowing each other? Look at us now, huh?

Maybe that’s why I haven’t got this filter around you. Maybe we’ve just spent too long by each others sides.

You’ve seen every part of me, Mark, even the stuff I thought that never wanted anyone to see. You’ve been my rival, my best friend, my enemy during that god awful Summer Fight of 2017 (you know the fans actually named it that? Management was so angry with us.)

You’ve seen me all the way up, high on endorphins and singing our songs to crowds larger than I can even wrap my head around. You’ve also seen me cry after a particularly bad evaluation or after a broke my leg. You’ve seen it all. And you’re still here.

You make me feel—uhhhh—emotions...

You’re just— 

Yeah.

I’m going to go hide this in a book or something and see how long it takes for a dumbass like you to go find it. And try to forget that I ever wrote any of this.

Love,  
Donghyuck

(Turns out I had a lot to say in the end. I’m so dumb. Maybe that’s why I like you so much.)

—

_21th of Dec, 2019_

Donghyuckie,

I found your letter last night. 

It will be seven years soon, just like you said. The clock will tick over on New Years Eve to 2020 and all the world will watch as fireworks dance in the sky and I, Mark Lee, will thank the heavens for the last seven years. For you.

This letter feels like nothing when compared to your last but I can’t find the words to encompass everything that I feel for you. Also that feels incredibly daunting and embarrassing having you know every little thing my heart experiences because of you. But honesty, I've got to keep that in mind. Just like we talked about. That’s what started this so I got to stick by it.

Find me as soon as you find this letter. Even if I can’t find the words I can still show you how much you mean to me.

(Okay, wow, that was so incredibly smooth. Just know you’re never going to get that kind of confidence or that kind of line out of me in real life. I have officially peaked.)

Yours,  
Mark

(For the record, you also make me feel—ugh—emotions.)

(And to this day, I have never heard someone sing the way you do. If I was going to be great like little Donghyuck said, then little Mark knew with absolute certainty that you were going to be out-of-this-world amazing.)

—

_24th of Dec, 2019_

Hyuck-ah,

Surprise! You probably haven’t found my other letter yet. I hid it in your sock draw. I’ll hide this one some place easier so that you can find the other one after this.

However, I just couldn’t wait for you to find the other one. It’s Christmas Eve. _The most wonderful time of the year!_ It took me forever to find a present that I thought you might like so you can’t be disappointed, okay? If you are it’s just payback for the ketchup you gave me.

Tonight, you guys sung ‘Coming Home’ together. I finally got that live performance I made you promise me. It was one of the prettiest things I have ever heard. I have no idea why you were so nervous. Your voice fits so many genres, you’re a vocal ace. (God, I’m so lucky).

Thank you for making my life brighter. Merry Christmas.

Yours,  
Mark

—

_25.12.2019_

Mark Lee,

You’re never allowed to give me a present again. It is embarrassing how much I cried. Jisung is never going to let it go.

Oh my god, Mark, you. God, you just. It’s so hard to put it all into words.

Honestly, I think that I could love you forever. Even if I might be a little too young and naive to make that decision just yet—and I would never hear the end of it from Jaehyun and Jeno—I could. God knows that I want to. I don’t know if I’ve got much of a choice anymore.

Because you’re doing that really dumb thing with your face right now where your nose is all scrunched up. What does Chenle say— _‘a little lion cub trying to raw’?_ It’s such a perfect way to describe it.

It’s been seven years, just like we said. It’s been seven years of you laughing too hard and being scared of heights and never wanting to go on roller coasters. Of you putting your milk in before your cereal and making me binge anime with you at midnight. It’s been seven years and I can see it so easily stretching into a forever. A forever with you.

It’s that just the sappiest thing you’ve ever heard? You’ve made me all soft and romantic. How dare you.

Love from your definitely lovesick boy,  
Donghyuckie

—

Hyuck-ah

To the world we are NCT, right?

To you, I’m Mark. I am yours.

Take care of my heart, okay? It was a scary gift to give away, but I can't think of anyone I'd rather give it to.

Yours,  
Mark

—

Mark-hyung,

Always. It’s the most precious thing that I’ve ever been given. My favourite present. Be careful with mine too, promise?

Yours for all the forevers you could imagine,  
Donghyuck

—

I promise, Hyuck-ah. 

Yours truly,  
Mark

—

_bonus_

Dear Donghyuck and Mark,

Don’t know what’s going between you two, don’t really want to if I'm being honest (ignore whatever the others may say. We don’t want to know. Especially Ten. He definitely doesn’t want to know anything.  ~~ TELL US EVERYTHING ~~ ~~!~~ Tell us nothing.)

As a collective group, we just wanted to say congratulations. (We think). Like we said, we have no idea what you two are doing. You were really obvious about the letters (seriously the two of you have no subtlety) and last week  ~~ Taeil ~~ someone caught you two snuggling on Mark’s bed. And [REDACTED] may have caught you two kissing in the laundry room. (Park Jisung, I hate you. Redacted? Really? You're such a Gen-Z kid.) (HEY!)

OKAY, back to me now. Seriously, writing a letter while 18 people yell at you and steal the pen from your hand is hard. This was supposed to be a cute note where we tell you that we love you and support you. (This family is all chaos, Doyoung, and you are stupid for assuming we are anything but it). 

The point is that we love you guys no matter what. Unless you're doing illegal things, of course. In which case I would have to drag you to Taeyong and at that point, there's really no hope for either of you. (Hey, you're stricter than me, Do-ie.) (Not true, he can't stand a chance against Haechan). (Shut up, Jaehyun!)

In conclusion, the only one I love is Jungwoo. (That’s mean, hyung). Well you deserve it.

Love, (no homo) (yah, Yuta!)  
NCT!  
NCT U and 127 and Dreamies and WayV and all of NCT 2020, which is all of us anyway ~~(and a  special love from Jaemin). (No, special Special love from Johnny). ~~ (I THINK YOU MEAN ESPECIALLY FROM YANGYANG AND YANGYANG ONLY).

**Author's Note:**

> We made it! That was so sweet and sappy and now I have to go and write another 40k of angst to make up for the diabetes which I just wrote.
> 
> This ridiculous fic would not be half of what it is (or finished it the two days in which I madly wrote it) if not for the wonderful [lil](https://twitter.com/baridalive) (one of the most amazing writers out there and my markhyuck inspiration)! And, of course, the lovely and underserving support from chu who hears all of my ideas and let's me talk her ear off for days. Thank you, thank you, thank you! U the best!
> 
> To those reading this, I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry for all the fluff! <3
> 
> Edit: fixed a couple of things up but reading through, I am seriously considering making a part two for reunited dreamies... hmmm.
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/itsme_treechild) | [tmblr](https://fiddle-styx.tumblr.com/)


End file.
